Roberta was four months old when we learned that Andrea was hearing impaired. It was indeed a difficult time. And I felt immensely alone! (Absentee husband due to his career change goals and subsequent grad program required long days of travel to Boston and back; when he WAS home, he was holed up in the basement studying!) We needed to learn quickly how best to promote communication skills in Andrea, and I still had to care for an infant.
And I was desperate to know that our baby had normal hearing! Testing began almost immediately - at my insistence. So at 4, 7, and 11 months, her hearing tests were "inconclusive!" Small comfort there! The axe fell at 13 months on a day I will never forget (but I do forget the date). What I remember most was how I reacted once in the car with the two girls. I completely broke down and sweet Andrea said to me, "Mommy, what's wrong?" The only way I could make a 4 year old understand was to reply, "Roberta needs to wear hearing aids too!" to which Andrea said, "Oh, goody, now she'll be like me!" How sweet! But for a mom, this was devastating news.
So once again, thanks to the Willie Ross School for the Deaf in Longmeadow, MA, we received training in assisting our children with language acquisition, speech and articulation through play, and other activities to encourage and enhance communication. Willie Ross was an oral communication school for the deaf, so we were naturally encouraged to teach our children the tools for oral language, rather than signing. What did we know? N O T H I N G !!!!
But as preciously stated, this decision turned out to be the best one for our girls - they will tell you so today. I'm not sure how that will play out in the future, if/when they are no longer able to see well enough to read lips, but it was correct then and still is.
The early years were tough! When Andrea was five and Roberta 2.5, we moved from MA to RI - where my husband finally found a job in his new field of hospital administration. Three+ years of little income (I substitute taught on occasion) were fraught with tension of newly discovered child disability, absentee husband, career change, and now a move to a state where we had no family, no friends, no ties at all.
But the move to Cranston, RI was a blessing! We landed in a cute little neighborhood with lots of kids and friendly neighbors who became fast friends over the years. Children of all ages played together on the street, in our homes, and the families socialized frequently. It was safe and fun for all of us! Although there was a neighborhood school, where Andrea attended kindergarten for a few months, services for the hearing impaired were provided at another local school, so that was arranged for her first grade. Roberta went to the local YMCA for preschool. Mrs. Jean Wilson was the invaluable teacher of the deaf through most of the girls' elementary school years - in a pull-out program - for speech and language and as liaison between us and the teachers. It was wonderful! And she was the mom-substitute for me. I could call her at any time with questions, concerns, etc. And Mrs. Hoffman was Roberta's pre-school teacher for three years. She was another godsend!
Mrs. Wilson passed away when Roberta was still in her care in elementary school - a sudden and very untimely death. We all mourned her passing forever - since the replacement left something to be desired, and neither the girls nor I liked her very much. Thanks to Jean Wilson, both girls were quite independent and by that time needed less assistance and instruction. Besides....both girls at this point HATED both the replacement and the very obvious attention and impression being taken out of class made on their classmates. So while IEPs were always in place for both of them through their public schooling, they availed themselves less and less, and that worked!
The constant interaction with neighborhood kids, who accepted them wholly and helped them in every way, was a bonus. I am forever grateful to Mary Joan and Earl, Linda and Joe, and Marcia and Joe for their tireless support of our family. And the move to RI brought me to a mother's group at the RI School for the Deaf that changed my life, even though the girls were never schooled there.
To be continued.......!
in our hoUSe.....!
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The FIRST Diagnosis of Hearing Impairment! The Early Years!
Please excuse the ramblings here. While I've often thought of writing about life with two hearing-impaired children, I hadn't quite planned to do it at this point in my life. But I guess it's time.....one never knows when it might be too late. Those early days are a bit of a blur - also it was a LONG time ago!
What do new mothers know around child-rearing? Not a whole lot! There is no manual; there is no prep course. My mother did not live nearby; my MIL did but was not a huge part of the equation. I know now that MILS of young mothers often feel uncomfortable "interfering" with their son's wives. Nonetheless, it was my MIL who first suspected that Andrea was not hearing properly - although she was speaking - just not articulating well and her language at three was not building as rapidly as expected. My husband had been a delayed talker, so no one had seemed terribly concerned, and my pediatrician poo-pooed the concern. Mothers seem to have a sense about problems in their children - regardless. But my MIL put the bug in my ear (pun intended), and so with little (naive) trepidation, off we went to the audiologist!
Crushing news! MIL was right! Andrea did indeed have moderate sensorineural bilateral hearing loss. OMG!!! What the heck did THAT mean? I was in shock, confused, frightened, devastated, and ALONE! Any new mother who receives a diagnosis of child disability of any sort MUST feel the same. I was not at all prepared for this, didn't want it, and didn't have a clue what to do! And I am a DO-ER!!!!
Remember, this was 1971 - no Internet, no easy access to information, no immediate source of help, few resources to pursue. Thanks to the Willie Ross School for the Deaf in Longmeadow, MA, I began the journey. (I actually thought the school could not possibly still be in existence, but just Googled and found it!) They were the only source of info, providing written materials, parent advising, in-home speech and language assistance for parents/child, pre-school classes, and a connection to others facing the same challenges. It was newly established, and at the time they focused on strictly oral communication. With their guidance, we determined that Andrea would attend their own integrated pre-school as well as another local program where she was the only hearing-impaired child.
Whether by personality or disability, however, she was always socially reserved, shy, and adjusted slowly to new situations. She began to make huge strides in communication and social skills, and as a result of these experiences, we decided that she would continue in public school, a decision made early on and one that pre-determined the course of her and her sister's education. They both lived in the hearing world, never signed, and proceeded through public schools and college with few disability resources.
Since Roberta was already born at the time of Andrea's diagnosis, our focus became split: teaching ourselves how to best prepare Andrea for life and finding out if Roberta shared what was apparently a hereditary trait. But we COULDN'T have TWO with the same disability!
That will be the focus of my next post. But I recall that at the time of this initial diagnosis, my husband was going to school full-time in Boston for another degree, changing careers, and largely unavailable to me and the issues at hand. He had his own struggles with commuting to Boston, attending classes, studying, writing papers, etc. He had little time to provide the comfort, share my distress, learn along with me, and be the support that I really needed. Many marriages would not have survived! I'm proud to say that in September, we will celebrate our 45th anniversary - TOGETHER!!!
To be continued......
What do new mothers know around child-rearing? Not a whole lot! There is no manual; there is no prep course. My mother did not live nearby; my MIL did but was not a huge part of the equation. I know now that MILS of young mothers often feel uncomfortable "interfering" with their son's wives. Nonetheless, it was my MIL who first suspected that Andrea was not hearing properly - although she was speaking - just not articulating well and her language at three was not building as rapidly as expected. My husband had been a delayed talker, so no one had seemed terribly concerned, and my pediatrician poo-pooed the concern. Mothers seem to have a sense about problems in their children - regardless. But my MIL put the bug in my ear (pun intended), and so with little (naive) trepidation, off we went to the audiologist!
Crushing news! MIL was right! Andrea did indeed have moderate sensorineural bilateral hearing loss. OMG!!! What the heck did THAT mean? I was in shock, confused, frightened, devastated, and ALONE! Any new mother who receives a diagnosis of child disability of any sort MUST feel the same. I was not at all prepared for this, didn't want it, and didn't have a clue what to do! And I am a DO-ER!!!!
Remember, this was 1971 - no Internet, no easy access to information, no immediate source of help, few resources to pursue. Thanks to the Willie Ross School for the Deaf in Longmeadow, MA, I began the journey. (I actually thought the school could not possibly still be in existence, but just Googled and found it!) They were the only source of info, providing written materials, parent advising, in-home speech and language assistance for parents/child, pre-school classes, and a connection to others facing the same challenges. It was newly established, and at the time they focused on strictly oral communication. With their guidance, we determined that Andrea would attend their own integrated pre-school as well as another local program where she was the only hearing-impaired child.
Whether by personality or disability, however, she was always socially reserved, shy, and adjusted slowly to new situations. She began to make huge strides in communication and social skills, and as a result of these experiences, we decided that she would continue in public school, a decision made early on and one that pre-determined the course of her and her sister's education. They both lived in the hearing world, never signed, and proceeded through public schools and college with few disability resources.
Since Roberta was already born at the time of Andrea's diagnosis, our focus became split: teaching ourselves how to best prepare Andrea for life and finding out if Roberta shared what was apparently a hereditary trait. But we COULDN'T have TWO with the same disability!
That will be the focus of my next post. But I recall that at the time of this initial diagnosis, my husband was going to school full-time in Boston for another degree, changing careers, and largely unavailable to me and the issues at hand. He had his own struggles with commuting to Boston, attending classes, studying, writing papers, etc. He had little time to provide the comfort, share my distress, learn along with me, and be the support that I really needed. Many marriages would not have survived! I'm proud to say that in September, we will celebrate our 45th anniversary - TOGETHER!!!
To be continued......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)